So this may very well be my last blog entry. I have my first trail run tomorrow so I'm pretty sure I might like, die. My sister asked me if I had viewed the altitude information for this race. Altitude? What does that mean? Altitude is a measurement of height (or at least that's what the guess that I pulled out of my butt said), so I think she's subtly trying to tell me that there's hills or better yet, one big hill. Oh my....I'm seriously questioning my sanity and even more so questioning my husband's who has done no training whatsoever. I guess after I'm done writing this I'll u-tube some videos about blood dopping. Even thought my sister is in way better shape then I am, I'm still somewhat competitive so I either need to get my hands on some performance enhancing drugs or hire someone to break her knee caps. What? I got her a nice birthday gift....
So what have I been up to lately? Well mom stuff. Remember when you mom made you do stuff that you didn't particularly want to do but she told you it was "for your own good"? Well that's payback for all the stuff she had to do for your own good when you were little. Seriously, at the moment I'm taking Lily to a whole bunch of activities outside my comfort and sanity zone just because I know it might make her a little less of a thug in her future.
I started Strong Start last month or as I refer to it in our case Weak Crawl. There are two programs: morning or afternoon. The afternoon one in my opinion is mislabeled. It starts at 11:30 which technically is still morning, or at least in my world it is. 11:30? who wants to run after kids when you can still taste the toothpaste in your mouth. Then there is morning Strong Start that begins at 8:30. That's 8:30 AM, AM as it opens before the bank even does. I have yet to make it on time. We beat our record this morning by getting there at 9:30-apparently we only get up at 6am for afternoon Strong Start. Usually we stroll in around 10am just in time for Lily to beat some poor kid over the head with a plastic baby. Strong Start is another one of these programs that is so good for the kids and Lily loves it. The downside is basically I'm spending the whole time playing referee with a below acceptable level of caffeine in my system. There is something about another child playing with a toy that transforms it into the most desirable toy in the whole entire universe. A kid could be holding a ball of lint and Lily would think it was the best thing since sliced bread or something straight out of Mordor. The other day we were on the playground during outside time and Lily made a breakaway while I was trying to put JoJo in his stroller. She ran into a classroom that had left the door open to let in air and attempted to knock over one of the kids who was using an exercise ball as a chair. At least Lily has inherited my feelings towards hippies. But seriously? we don't use chairs anymore? We sit on bouncy balls? Can one truly concentrate when you're bouncing? Okay kids...boing...open to page 2....boing.....for history...BOING! Anyways we made quite a ruckus when I had to remove her from the classroom with her kicking and screaming while holding Joe who was also screaming in solidarity. Today Lily really embarrassed me. She has this tendency to go into my closet and wear my underwear as a necklace. Anyways I was rushing as usual, trying not to be too late and I shoved her in her stroller without doing my last minute inspection. I get there and let her out and one of the moms goes to me "your thong". Instinctively I pull up my pants and she's like "no, around your toddler" and sure enough there was Lily parading around the room with my underwear on display. Already however I have noticed that Lily is getting better around children so I can suck it up. It's better to have her socialized then to sit at home in my PJ's watching realtity TV....I guess.
I also went to this free program called "Mother Goose". Basically you sing a whole bunch of songs and dance around and pray for death that never comes to rescue you. I joke, I joke, the kidlets love it and the people who run it are wonderful, however if I wasn't a bit snarky about it you wouldn't be reading this blog. I'm just amazed that the songs haven't changed that much since I was a kid. As I've commented many times, the wheels on the bus are still going 'round and 'round. Also at the Kentucky fair the senorita with flowers in her hair is still shaking it like a milkshake which makes me ponder just how old that lady is now. It's been over 25years and that itsy bitsy spider is still crawling up the water spout except they have a new version of the song dealing with a humongous spider which is creepy on all sort of levels. It's bad enough when we sing the song Lily barks so apparently it's a barking spider that has mutated into the size of a adult female. So how did Lily like it? It's hard to tell. She basically stood in the middle of the singing circle lifting up her top yelling boobies.
Anyways, when I'm old and grey I'll make sure Lily escorts me to all the activities the senior center offers to help keep my brain sharp. When she groans and rolls her eyes at me I'll remind her that she has to take me because once upon the time I did the same thing...and besides it's good for me and might make me stop accidentally putting the remote away...in the fridge.
That being said, I'm off to rest before my race, I'm sure when I'm running up that hill inbetween swearing and crying I'll be humming Mary had a little lamb wondering why she hasn't made that thing into lamb chops. Maybe she's vegan, like my crazy sister who got me into this mess (running that is).
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