As I covered in previous posts, my body has changed a lot. For the first time in 3 years I am not pregnant and actually being smart in preventing it (no mojitos etc). After I had Joe and that scary post-pregnancy month passed (you know the one where you still look 6 months pregnant), I inspected my closet. On one side I had all my clubbing clothes from my single days and on the other side I had all my maternity clothes and nothing in between. Since going to Strong Start in thigh high boots and hot pants is not an option (or at least an option I'd want to explore, after all this is Maple Ridge we're talking about), I decided it was time to revamp the wardrobe. Another deciding factor was seeing some of my clothes featured in the before "what not to wear" segment. So I'm in the process of re-vamping my fashion.
Easier said then done.
For my birthday I requested one type of gift: nice, grown up looking clothes. My family kindly obliged and I did get some items to jump start my new style. Problem is I'm too scared to wear them. See there's a reason why kids clothes are so cheap: kids spill stuff on them and stain them. Most clothes get through one wear before turning into an abstract painting of what Lily ate that day-Lily just runs around in a diaper at home because I grew tired all her clothes turning that nice grey color from constant washing (no I do not separate my colors when I throw them in the wash thankyouverymuch). However kids also spill stuff and stain YOUR clothes but the cheapness rule doesn't apply. Kids are attracted to everything new and nice and can't wait to get their hands on it. I'm scared the day I wear my nice dress is the day Lily has spaghetti and tomato soup.
Also I don't go anywhere especially if it doesn't include the phrase "kids eat free" in their motto or tablecloths that aren't paper....
Kids don't care if you're dressed nice or not as long as you have fruit roll ups.....
Joe eats all the time so my clothes are always hidden behind a breastfeeding blanket...
I got a structured jacket that I love but I fear that it makes me look like a real estate agent....
What is my other issues? Well, I'm glad you asked.
Jeans:
Try getting a pair of jeans that don't contain the adjectives "skinny" or "low rise". Both term don't always work when you have young kids. Young kids require a lot of chasing, bending over and lifting so it's hard not to flash crack. It also doesn't contain the post-baby "fanny pack". There is a reason why moms wear mom jeans and it's very hard to resist the temptation not to wear them. However try finding a mid-rise that doesn't violate decency laws when you find yourself trying to contain your toddler after you tell her it's time to leave the park. Kali's tip: Low rise is five finger widths from belly button and mid rise is 2. Anything above a two is mom jean territory.
Jacket:
My mom HATES my jacket or as I call it "old faithful". I got it in West Edmonton mall for under $40. It's a plaid Roxy knee length coat. I've had it before I was married, before kids, I even wore it during all my pregnancies (not zipped up of course). It is now faded, worn and stretched and is starting to make me look a little homeless. Every time my mom nags me to toss it I tell her I'm adding another year onto its lifespan. I finally feel like I can let it go this year. With the big trend on motocycle jackets and structured jackets it's tempting, I guess only fall can tell. Also I have all these fancy jackets now but as mentioned above they make me look professional so I feel I little bit silly wearing them since my only business meetings include bosses in diapers.
Shirts:
Has anyone noticed the thin shirt epidemic invading all the stores lately. I'm not just talking about cheap brands either. It seems like there is a cotton shortage. I have tried many tops on and I find that if they aren't see-through then they hug to every curve and bump I have. Yes, you can go up a size but then its too baggy and you end up looking like a melted candle (plus remember clothes that are too big on you make you look bigger!). Also if they have a place where your bust goes my boobs always fall under it. I guess that's when you shop in the junior section-they expect your boobs not to be best friends with your ankles.
Anyways because I'm such a keener, I decided to do some homework and research some of the top fall trends of 2012. Okay, that's sort of a lie, I really was trying to find reasons not to vacumm. Here's my take on Glamour's trends:
- PVC Raincoats: one word comes to mind: tarp. Okay that and plastic mumu. I remember I had a PVC raincoat in highschool, I loved it until I was walking to school one day and a friend commented that from far away she thought I was wearing a trash bag. Looking homeless is exactly the style I am trying to avoid.
- Graphic Sheath Dress: So wrong on so many levels. I've seen these before on manikins in stores and it makes them look like they had a heavy lunch. Let's just explore the meaning of sheath for a second: "close-fitting covering or case." Yes based on that definition on dictionary.com I'm sure it would look absolutely great on me.
- Cozy Sweater: This is a trend I can really get behind if it includes snugglys (or is that snugglies?). Yes, if it's now socially acceptable to wear one out grocery shopping then that would be awesome.
- Belted white dress: Obviously the people at Glamour don't have kids, or don't have my kids, or have never rode on a bus or eaten a meatball sub...Nothing pairs better with a toddler then a perfect white canvas. Did I mention I also don't sort my laundry? It all goes in at the same time..I guess I could wear it once and then wait until multicolored greyish dresses are in style..
- Bohemian Print dress: You know how I feel about hippies. What's winter's trend? burning the bra?
- Polka Dot sweater: Once again, I have no problem with this style. It makes finding spit up and mashed fruit bars harder to spot.
- Silk Trousers: All I can think of is panty lines or a mean case of hungry bum. Have you ever owned something silk that doesn't ride up in a spot its not suppose to be?
- Tuxedo Style Blazer: Perfect to wear while scrubbing toliets since nothing is classier than a tuxedo..maybe I can pretend I'm rich enough to hire a butler...
- Over sized clutch: The strap fell off my diaper bag so I'm already following this trend.
- Ankle boots and cropped trousers: My fellow "what not to wear" watchers, you know the story with these two. They are the fastest looks to convert a short woman's legs into tree trunks. Yes they cut off your legs and make you look shorter and when you look shorter you look wider. Great, I have short legs, remind me to put off shoe shopping until next year,
I'm still waiting for "What not to wear" to have a Canadian version of their show so I can send them in my demo tape. Until then I will be waiting in my mom jeans and my t-shirt with only two holes and one tomato sauce stain on it. Come find me.
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| For some reason these clubbing relics are still in my closet. Not sure where I can wear them to,,, |
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