Car-tastrophe

  It was Saturday morning and Dave decided to wake up before me and let Lily out of her cage-by that I mean I slowly kept rolling over until I pushed him off the bed.  Regularly, most mornings involve a disgruntled me releasing Lily to attack a peacefully sleeping Dave. Dave has become desensitized to Lily's regular tricks which involve bum drops to the head, however I have recently discovered the most effective method is to ask her "where is daddy's eyes?".  This immediately prompts her to poke him in the eyes-the only things that would actually wake him up.  But this morning was different, it was me that was avoiding a pre-breakfast eye gorging.  Anyways she looks at me and utters the most feared phrase in the English language "watch cars?" followed by that toddler nod which basically lets you know that this is more of a command than a question.   

We have made a grave mistake...

     We showed my car obsessed toddler the Disney movie Cars.... Oh yes, it was oh so cute to watch her memorized-mouth open, drooling or her panic when MacQueen gets lost.  Oh yes, we had a good chuckle.  It was actually a refreshing break from a girl whose normal morning routine involves running laps, throwing her cup off the table during breakfast and then trying to jump on my back when I bend over to pick it up.  However we then realized that what all those parenting books say are true: kids love repetition.
They love viewing the same thing again and again and again....and again and once they are done they still want to watch it again.  Lesson learned: maybe it is time to actually read those books instead of using them as coasters.... 
  The adult human brain can only handle so much...yesterday we watched the movie three times.  I now have the movie's soundtrack permanently stuck in my head.  When I go to bed at night, I don't count sheep, I count mini Lightening MacQueens running laps around the track.  I have gleefully thought of over a hundred ways that I could destroy the DVD, a hundred ways to hide my crime-however I fear the repercussion which no doubt would be Lily beats.  It has gotten to the point that whenever I see a car featured from the movie in real life, I have to resist the temptation to let the air out of its tires.  At first I found the movie witty, charming and funny.  However after a week of being on a car only diet, I now find it the equivalent to medieval torture...I often wonder why these movies don't have multiple endings, like maybe 50 of them so I could at least change it up once in a while.
  While Lily is awake, no other program is acceptable.  Don't you even think about trying to watch reality TV.  Don't ask me what happened on Extreme Cougars, it's still on my PVR,  I haven't even been able to watch Liz and Dick to make fun of it (because that is totally why I recorded it..).Our usual after dinner viewing of Star Trek has been met with protests of "NO SPACESHIP".  After 30 minutes of whining and gnashing of teeth, we finally cave thinking it would be easier just to watch the movie.  However after 5 minutes we decide that Owen Wilson's voice (which use to be sexy to me) is worse-it now makes my teeth hurt...

Zoolander is now ruined forever to me.

I won't be able to watch Wedding Crashers without cringing.

I'll never be able to stand Larry the Cable Guy...oh wait, I never was able to stand that guy.

 
    I think that's worse, when you start recognizing the voices behind the animated characters.  Watch Shrek. Now tell me if you're able to take any of Eddie Murphy's movies seriously anymore...all I picture is the donkey.  Good actors out there-please stop doing voice acting gigs, us poor parents end up having to listen to you over and over again and then when we go to watch our grown up stuff there you are again...

*ahem*

Okay Lightening MacQueen someone needs to take you to the wreckers before I finally go looney and start having conversations with Dave's Big Ass Truck.
Send help or send more DVDS.
Until then zoom zoom, around in my brain Lightening will go!