Butterscotch Tears

  Well it is finally time.  Time for my gestational diabetes test.  I've been putting it off for a week now but I realise that I have to go in and get it over with soon.  When my doctor wrote me up the lab request it was like the hammer falling-*boom* playtime over. My mom tells me to be positive, maybe I WON'T have it this time around, what I don't tell her is how I had chocolate chips for breakfast, and those chocolate covered macadamia nuts?  Dave didn't eat the whole box..I did.  Truth be told, I do not need to take a test, they do not have to take a sample, I can tell them the answer they need to know.  In fact I'm pretty sure if they tried to draw blood, they would draw buttercream icing instead.  How do I know for sure? I was there for Christmas, I saw the candy carnage.  Let's just say when I exercise my sweat smells like gingerbread cookies.  Next year Santa will be sitting on MY lap telling me what HE wants for Christmas.  I am armed with a sweet tooth and ready to use it.
  The worst thing about gestational diabetes is the diet.  First of all the fridge is my siren and pantry is the jagged rocks I crash on.  I enjoy eating, its sorta my hobby.  Not only this but the diabetic diet makes no sense.  I have been on many diets in my lifetime and most focus on calories in, calories out and eat less and exercise more and you'll lose weight.  The diabetic diet is all about carbs and sugar and you know what? Everything has carbs and sugar and sometimes the go-to-healthy foods have the most in it!  I can put butter on my whole plate of pork chops and be fine but heaven forbid I have a whole banana or more then 12 grapes.
  The second issue is that I live with a man, my husband.  Like most men he will revolt if there is nothing but healthy "diet" food in the house.  The problem is that he brings it home, puts it in his designated candy dish and promptly forgets about it.  Unfortunately I have a photographic memory when it comes to sweets and I remember every little shred of junk food that is in that dish and very slowly I start eating it.  After Christmas was done I had to put our candy dish in front of him and make him finish it after my pants attempted to garrote me.  Dave doesn't understand why a mars bar and I cannot co-exist in the same house but that would be like putting a lion and a zebra in a 900 square foot apartment and tell them to behave-not going to happen.
   I could go into the other downsides of gestational diabetes like jabbing yourself with needles but really if I could choose between chocolate and needles? Jab away! So wish me luck, if I do test positive again I will guarantee that I will cry sweet butterscotch tears of sorrow but on the flip side body parts other then my stomach will thank me when I'm not delivering a 20lbs baby.