I've been struggling to figure out what to do, what would really speak to me. I've always been a person who knows what she hates but has no idea what she likes (a career counsellor's nightmare) and I have the added bonus of being mediocre at everything. Seriously, my talent is being a solid C. I went to my husband to ask his sage advice because that is apparently what you do when you're married. He suggested that I collect my farts in a jar (I wish this statement was exaggerated for comic relief but sadly this is a direct quote). I am not about to do that so I did some soul searching to figure out what I might like. After that ended up as a bust I did the next best thing-I googled "How to find a hobby" on my IPhone and luckily didn't get porn. Instead I stumbled upon a few pages that listed hobbies that I could do:
- Collect Stamps-The neat freak in me would never allow for any type of hobby that involves collecting. Sure it starts off as a stamp collection but next thing you know you're on TLC's Horders explaining why your living room is full of doll heads and cats. To be honest I would get more pleasure in throwing out my collections behind my back (just like my favourite couple activity called "throw out Dave's crap").
- Woodworking-A very useful skill, especially considering I live with a 24lbs termite and all our furniture has matching bite marks. However I enjoy having 10 fingers and anything that involves the possibility of changing that number is out of the question. Not only that but I live in an apartment, how many bird houses do I really need?
- Dance-Now I actually enjoy dance and have taken many types in the past. However, in my current condition I can't allow any activity that would require me to wear spandex: Someone has got to think of the children...
- Learning a second Language- It has taken me 28years (and counting) to fully master my first. When I run spell check on my blog the computer grinds and the Internet slows down to a near halt and when your light flickers at 10PM every evening? That's me trying to run my grammar check.
- Renaissance Fairs- I'd rather collect my farts in a jar thankyouverymuch.
- Knitting-I bought myself a "teach yourself kit" a few weeks ago. Opened the first page of the booklet and it looked like advance algebra. I got stuck on the part where it asked me to make a slipknot. The only Slipknot I know is that band from the 90s and its not my type of music. Needless to say, the kit, yarn and needles have been sitting in the back of my closet ever since.
- Beading: out of the question with a 11month old unless they also include a first aid course. The kid eats everything on the carpet, I caught her trying to eat Styrofoam the other day (WTF? Why?). Plus I live in Maple Ridge, its bad enough already without beading my velour tracksuit and crocs.
- Crochet- Looks and sounds too much like crotch, and when you've been as pregnant for as long as I have you don't want to set yourself up for any running jokes.
- DIY- I'm sure Dave would lllooovvee this, first project: knock down all the walls in the apartment. On the plus side I could get myself an appearance on Holmes on Homes.
- pyrography- Emo for beginners (first burning holes in woods, up next, your arms!)
PS-Anyone have any glass jars I can borrow?
I think the answer is staring you in the face. You should write. You are a clever, witty, insightful woman. People will read your stories.
ReplyDeleteI hear that selling the tears of orphans on the black market is very lucrative these days. I imagine you could form a very cost-effective hobby around finding interesting and creative ways to collect them.
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