Our cat has been dethroned. When we were a child-free couple our cat (Shadow) WAS our baby, he was our idol, our prince. He ruled the house. Our friends with kids told us to wait, once the first child came the cat would no longer be the centre of attention. Shadow not being the centre of attention? NEVER. We swore up and down (like every person before kids) that we would be different, Shadow would not feel the effects of having a bipedal sibling. Yeah...right. It took a few months to realise it, but oh how the golden feline had fallen. Just the other day I gave him a boot because he was right underfoot begging for a shred of attention and in his attempts he had almost tripped me and broke my neck. The other morning he tried to snuggle on my pillow but I pushed him off desperate for some more sleep. When did he become so needy? So annoying? or more importantly, when did 5mins of alone time become so important to me? when did 5 more mins of sleep become the gauge between getting my housework,dinner,errands done or balled up in the fetal position by noon? Dave (my husband) and I sat down and discussed "the cat crisis of 2011". Apparently the cat has been very upset at Dave all week and he has noticed it as soon as he walked through the door after work.
It then dawned on me-yes the cat had moved down a position on the totem pole, but more importantly so had I and right now I was sitting below the cat...there were no "Kali Crisis" meetings, no "why is Kali still in her PJs at 4PM"? With the arrival of baby number 3 approaching fast, the cat and I will have to jockey ourselves in the family food chain. This could mean a power struggle of epic proportions. This....means big trouble for me, because? I'm just not as likeable as the damn cat. I am the underdog. Need proof? Look at LOL cats (wait, not now, let me finish..fine open another tab I'll wait). That site probably has billions of viewers each day. My blog? One, maybe two readers on a good day. While Shadow is all "Can I haz a cheeseburger" and "sleepy kitty needs sleep" I'm all like "Dave clean up your damn mess" and "Lily no you cannot play with the electrical plug or have a shooter of cleaning liquid". I'm clearly not as cute and maybe a bit more annoying. Plus, come to think of it, maybe Shadow wasn't trying to be under my foot for attention, maybe he really was trying to trip me...to, you know, bump off the competition. I bet if I look at my pillow tomorrow there will be a kitty litter colada with my name on it and maybe the taunt "GAME ON".
So please, any ideas on how to one up the cat, and hurry before Dave decides to cancel my Internet and cell phone to pay for Kitty Empathy Training!!
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