B.A.S meet S.A.A.

      As I last blogged, Dave and I were in the process of buying a Big ass stroller or B.A.S.  Okay fine, we were in the process of debating what B.A.S we were getting.  OKAY FINE, I was dictating what stroller we'd better be getting if he wanted to make it to 40 with all his original teeth.  Naturally, I won.  We got the deluxe model Phil and Ted in the color I wanted (which lucky for Dave was Candy Apple Green).  Seriously, this is a lesson for all those men out there.  If you are going to marry a woman with all the bells and whistles, expect all her accessories to require bells and whistles as well.  Our new stroller is now sitting beside our BOB in what was formally the dinning room area and now is affectionately re-named the "stroller heap".  Yes, we have two B.A.S. in our Small Ass Apartment (S.A.A.).

Our dining room AKA the stroller heap. 

        I have briefly touched on our apartment in former blogs.  Our apartment is a beautiful, newer, open plan dwelling and the least white trash thing about us.  The problem is, it is small at 900square feet.  Seriously, if you want to have a tour of it you just need to walk through the door, take two steps forward and turn 360 degrees and you have pretty much seen the whole thing.  It was small two people ago, so with two grown-ups, a toddler, a baby and a cat it is now tiny.  There is as much room in our apartment as there is room in my uterus. Actually scratch that, those buggers can really stretch.  There is as much room in our apartment as there is room in my jeggings- stretched to the max.  One more object in the apartment and the whole infrastructure will collapse and spill into the hallway.  At one time it almost housed four people.  It was back when Dave and I were dating.  He had a roommate who also had a girlfriend.  It was pure hell, you couldn't move two steps without bumping into something or someone.  Privacy? Forget about it!  Now we are approaching that number once again.  With three people, we'd each get 300sq feet.  However as you can imagine it is not fairly divided that way.  Dave and Lily take up at least 500square feet each-made possible through the magic of boxes and stacking and cramming (ie the spanx of the storage world).  With New Baby on its way, we will each have to give up 75square feet.  I have a feeling that by the end of this I will have a quarter closet to my name (or a shoe box labeled "sucker").  Not to mention I'm steadily getting bigger.  The other day all of us ended up in the kitchen at the same time and it was as much as a traffic jam as New York City in rush hour.
    So not only are we a potential candidate for "People Hoarders", we also have promise for the actual show "Hoarders".  We have a ton of stuff so our house seems to always be in a constant state of messiness.  Not only that but every thing we own is ill-fit for an apartment.  We have black leather couches that are massive- they are home sized and not apartment sized.  They came with the husband and are those ones from the Brick that every bachelor under the age of 25 seems to own. Because we lost our second room to Lily, we had to buy a huge computer cabinet that serves as a makeshift office.  Not only does that take up a chunk of our living room but also gives a cave like feel whenever you are at the computer, it's like you're in a corner during time out.  Did I mention Lily's room still has a piano taking up half of it?  I pretty much have to hold my breath and do the side way shuffle to get from one end of the apartment to the other.  My toes are bruised and dislocated from the combination of not being able to see them and a surplus of furniture that sticks out at weird angles.  
       I was watching "Selling New York" and they were looking at 800square feet apartments that were over 1.83millon dollars.  I couldn't believe that something that small would have such a hefty price tag, at least our apartment was cheap(ish).  Sure you're paying for location, I mean not many people would pick Maple Ridge over New York but it made me wonder....how on earth do you fit into an apartment that size?  No wonder why all the ladies on "Sex and the City" were so tiny.  If they put on 5lbs they wouldn't be able to squeeze into their skinny jeans OR their apartments.

Living room, you have to step OVER the couch to get to the TV or take your chances stubbing your toes on the coffee table.