My Baby is One Today

Today is Lily's First birthday.  She is no longer an infant but a toddler.
     Despite all our best efforts-dropping her, accidentally dislocating her arm, feeding her honey and peanuts- she has made it to one.  I remember when we first brought her home.  We had no clue what we were doing.  The best the government of Canada could do education-wise was give us a book entitled "Baby's Best Chance" (how encouraging) before sending us on our way.  Seriously, they'll fail me three times for my learner's permit for driving but they don't even quiz me on a few basic parenting issues?  BTW that book makes an excellent paperweight, I so didn't read it, maybe next kid....The problem with kids is as soon as you master one thing they enter a new phase making your old skill set completely useless.  Like you finally learn which way the diaper goes (sticky tabs at the back) and next thing you know you have to potty train them.  You finally get them to take a bottle and BAM if you're not cup feeding them you're rotting their teeth out of their head.  The way I see it, the first two years are a freebie-your kid won't remember it so they won't rat you out to their therapist.  After 2 you pretty much have to clean up your act, otherwise she's dating bikers-or worse-a hipster vegan (I still don't know what you did to Kirstin mom...).
  We had a pretty quiet day today, spent it with my family.  We're having a party on Saturday so there was no real need to get all crazy today.  Since we just had Christmas, Lily got the best toys the clearance bins offered.  But seriously, she still doesn't really understand what a present is and half the time the magic is just the box it comes in.  I fear the day once she starts knowing what she actually wants and has expectations.  I wrapped her present with extra care, since I know presentation is everything:

How I wrapped her present:  She doesn't know the difference.  Plus the Santa sort of looks like mommy at the moment.

We bought her fridge magnets, not just any fridge magnets but educational ones.  They cost me $20 and already I want to throw them in the trash.  It's the one where you are suppose to mix and match pictures of vehicles and it plays music.  Besides being incredibly annoying, the thing has an attitude.  Seriously, it's the most obnoxious and condescending toy I've encountered yet.  If you incorrectly match a car with a plane, it will go "a car-plane??" like you just told it you saw a two butted unicorn or told it you don't believe in the internet.  It'll then tell you you're silly and play a tune mocking you about how a car train would never run correctly if one existed.  Like try again dumb ass.  I'm sorry I didn't raise a Mensa baby leapfrog. Maybe by the time she's 16 a car-plane will exist!  Also right on the box it says be careful not to drop the unit.  What's the first thing Lily does? Monster Lily smash on floor!!  Chances are this thing will be broken in a few days anyways.

A car-train?  You can shine it up, but so you know, a car train-it won't go.  Leap frog fridge magnets is very disappointed in you Lily.

 I also bought her a rocking horse, just a $14 simple one.  It plays no music which makes me happy.  I'm pretty sure however she will find a way to propel herself off it and into the piano so she'll have a nice shiner on Saturday.  We also had a bit of a dress up day-well that's my "fun" name for getting rid of stuff.  Since she's a year old it was time to go through her clothes and toys.  I have a "bring something in the house, take something out" policy so we don't end up on TLC hoarders.  So I spent the day strutting Lily on the catwalk seeing what fit and what didn't, hello TLC toddlers and tiaras!  She has already mastered looking in the mirror and kissing her reflection.  I ended up picking out a fun little tutu outfit for tonight and as I was leaving the apartment a lady asked me if Lily was starting to pick out her own clothes.  I said no and she then quickly added she looked nice. Ouch. Fail.

My mommy dresses me like an 80's informercial...and I get blamed for this mess!

My parents bought Lily an ice cream cake, it was her first time trying chocolate.  I enjoyed watching her shovel in a big piece of cake and then shudder and screech when she got brain freeze, again and again.  I should have brought her fridge magnet toy-it would probably have a song to mock her about that.
        Anyways as usual, Lily got spoiled and we had a great day.  Tomorrow we will be doing the final prep work for Lily's big party on Saturday.