Show me your teeth

       I haven't blogged in a few days.  That's because there are two little things that are ruining my life-TEETH.  Yes, my life has been turned upside down because of teeth.  I don't remember this from when I was a baby but apparently getting teeth is a big deal and everyone MUST suffer.  I've been so tired that by the end of the day I'm passed out before I can even think of something snarky to comment about (a very rare occurrence).
        I only thought teeth were a problem once you got to be my age.  I mean I can't walk into the dentist office without some sort of issue.  The DENTIST loves me, I've put at least 2 of his kids through expensive med school.  My husband is the exact same, I swear that man chews on gravel the way his teeth break.  I just remember when I was younger the dentist was fun, you sat down, he counted your teeth and you got a toy, it was wonderful.  Now I hate the dentist because you sit down, he drills your teeth and then he counts the stack of money you hand him for the pleasure.  So in theory I don't see why Lily is so temperamental.  I mean come talk to me after you get your first root canal done kid. 
          Anyways getting a new tooth must feel like a root canal the way Lily acts.  It's been like the all-shrieking-telethon the last 3 days.  She wakes up shrieking only to finally go to bed shrieking.  I don't mean screaming, I mean shrieking-a high pitched war cry, a "the lady in 405 is beating me" cry, a "I stuck my hand in the garbage disposal" cry.  At about 9 I'm ready to throw the kid out the window. At 10 I'm about ready to throw myself out the window, and I'm talking about AM by the way.  She's so temperamental, everything upsets her-can't reach her toy, served beef instead of chicken, wrong stuffy, all reasons to go on her hit list.  I think what's even worse than the shrieking is when she's dead quiet...and stares.  Like she knows its your fault her gums hurt and she's debating what she's going to do to you to get even.  Toddlers scare me at the best of time (something about their big heads, small bodies) but a teething toddler...stuff nightmares are made of.  She's also destroying our furniture.  Our IKEA best all have teeth marks on it-I guess particle board is no match for a toddler.  I just wish she's work her way around the coffee table evenly, so the bite marks just look like ridging and part of the design.  She's chewing through all her cardboard books as well, and paper, the kid loves eating paper.  We were at the bank signing papers for our loan renewal-see the blog about the big ass truck my husband conned me into getting-and Lily crawled into the bankers recycling bin and started shredding paper with her teeth.  Hey that gives me an idea, my shredder has been busted for a few months now....Before you ask we have "Sophie the Giraffe" (expensive French doggy chew toy) and the teething rings that go in the fridge (used more as a projectile weapon).  The only thing that has helped so far is Tylenol, it helps me sleep through the shrieking just fine....
      I think what bugs me most is we go through all this annoyance for something that is just going to fall out in a few years anyways.  Screw the tooth fairy, I'm not giving any tooth up, I had to whether sleepless nights and screech filled days for those teeth to pop up, I'm keeping them.  Heck, Lily should pay me money for every tooth she loses.  I got a quarter when I was younger, with inflation the going rate must be at least a twoonie by now.

We bought a convertible bed because we thought we'd be saving money by only buying her one bed that would last her until she moved out.  We didn't take into account that she would gnaw through it....