Some call it Valentine's Day, I call it Tuesday

As you may or may not have noticed from your Facebook newsfeed, today is Valentine's Day.  It has got to be the most dreaded/anticipated holiday of the year.  Love it or hate it, everyone seems to have an opinion of it.  I've never heard so much gnashing of teeth over one holiday, except vegans over Easter-you know making that Cadbury bunny birth so many creme eggs just for our enjoyment...

Single:
Being single on Valentine's Day can be a little difficult-it can be a reminder that you are alone or your most significant partner has four legs and meows.  You can usually tell who is single since they will swear off the holiday, point out how corporate and meaningless it is while buying a tub of ice cream and crying to Bridget Jone's Diary.  To those I say suck it up.  It's the one day where people pity you not being tied down to a family.  The rest of the year we're reading your Facebook statuses being jealous of the trips you take, clothes you buy and the hot guys you get to date and LEAVE at the restaurant knowing you won't be scrubbing their toilets when you get home.  Just remember, I might get flowers and dinner today but tomorrow I'm back to buying off the McDonald's value menu and saving for my daughters education so she won't have to "dance her way through school".  Before the single people roll their eyes and say what does Mrs. Family know and send me a nasty-o-gram, I've only been with Dave for four years and before that I have 4 years of combined dating experience.  This means I've spent over 20 valentine's Days single.  My most depressing Valentine's day was when I ordered out for Chinese food and found a staple in it.  Close second was eating a large pizza.....by myself.  So I know, it can suck, but it's one day of the year.  Just to be clear, the maximum socially acceptable number of cats you can own when you're over 30 and single is still two.  Anymore than that and people are allowed to make crazy cat lady jokes.

Dating:
If its been under a year, the holiday is still fun because you can get away with a card or candy.  The bar is set low, especially if you have just started dating it's a freebie.  Sure there can be that uncomfortable "should I get him anything or not" debate but overall its a novelty rather than obligation.  I'd have to say out of everyone, the people who have been dating for more than a year have it the worst on this day.  When you're single, you already know what to expect (Mr. Whiskers doesn't have oposible thumbs to drive down to Purdy's) and when you're married you're too apathetic about the whole holiday. If you're on the cusp of a long term relationship especially if you're a guy, you're screwed. Nine times out of ten your girlfriend expects a ring.  So unless you're ready to do so, you should be doling out 3 months of your salary buying some fancy necklace or earrings.  You better not dare show up with a card.  If you're a man and you fit under this category and you are reading my blog while standing in line at the 7-11 buying said card, please either turn around and head to Spence diamonds or buy a shovel so you can dig your own grave.

Married:
Being married, Valentine's day doesn't have the same social pressure or expectation.  I mean no matter how romantic your partner makes the day, it doesn't erase the fact that the other day he tried to dutch oven you in bed.  To be honest, I am doing the same things I would have been doing today had I been single.  I'm sitting around in my yoga pants eating pizza.  My husband is playing video games.  The only difference is this time I'm ecstatic-I didn't have to cook dinner. Valentine's Day has even less meaning when you have kids, it becomes like everything else: all about them.  Instead of flowers you're buying those cards to hand out to classmates or maybe you have teenagers and you're waiting on the patio with a shot gun for your daughter to come home from her date.  All the romantic aspect of the holiday is stored right next to your sex life...if only you could remember where you hid that...

And Finally....people who may ruin your day today:

•  The "we got engaged today!":  No matter what your boyfriend does today, it will be overshadowed if your friend happens to get engaged.  If you are a man and you plan on getting engaged, at least warn your guy friends so they get enough swinging distance away from their girlfriends.  Dave and I got engaged on Valentine's Day.  It was the best day for me but we ruined it for another woman.  We went on a float plane with a few other couples, this guy went to the cockpit to talk to the captain and ditched his girlfriend who ended up sitting the entire flight alone so she was already mad to begin with.  When Dave popped the question already mad turned into murderous rage.  I wonder where she ended up burying the guy....
• The posts 50 pictures of all the romantic things we do while exclaiming how great your relationship is person:  They drown your newsfeed with 100s of photos and status updates about how romantic their partner is and  "OMG he's so great" that you start feeling envious.  All of a sudden that bouquet of flowers doesn't seem as impressive as it did 10minutes ago.  Take solace in the fact that they probably will be broken up within the week.
• The in case you didn't know cupid doesn't exist and it's a corporate holiday:  Pointing out that Valentine's day is a corporate holiday is like pointing out ice cream is fattening.  We all know it, why spoil the fun?